Rewards?

On my way home from a longer than usual workday yesterday, after twenty-four hours of juice fasting, my lunch box was empty and I was famished.  I was craving a cheesesteak.  An ooey, gooey, extra cheesy cheesesteak.  And as long as I didn’t eat the roll, I easily justified it.  After all, I did such a great job fasting today I deserved it, didn’t I? 

I called my husband and arranged our dinner plans quickly, before any good sense had time to kick in.  Now, I was fully committed to these plans and I was looking forward to the comfort of melted American cheese which would soon be my reward for the healthy lifestyle choices I had made all day.

Wait a second — did I just say that?  Am I seriously going to ‘reward’ myself – my body, my mind, my spirit – with a greasy, second-rate meal?  What kind of reward is that? 

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Let’s look at the definition of reward: 

v. – an act performed to strengthen approved behavior; 

n. – benefit resulting from some event or action.

Using a cheesesteak (or any other carb and saturated fat loaded meal) as a ‘reward’ becomes ironic when we fully realize what we are doing.  We take the time to carefully prepare our breakfast and lunch for the day.  Perhaps we do some yoga each morning in a genuine act of self-love; it’s likely we even work-out a few times a week in an effort to better our long term health.

And then we sabotage all of those weekly efforts with one simple act.

We may think that one meal isn’t that big of a deal.  Surely, when looked at singularly, it’s really not.  The sabotage comes in the repeated use of this type of ‘reward’.  When we look at our health with an overall ‘body, mind, spirit’ approach, this behavior pattern just doesn’t make any sense.  And going back to our definition of reward, why would we ‘treat’ ourselves with something that is the exact opposite of the behavior we are rewarding?

What, exactly, are we rewarding?  Who or what is the benefit of this reward? 

The only one who benefits from this type of reward focused behavior is our pleasure-seeking ego.  The ego thinks only of itself in relation to pleasure.  As Freud established so long ago, the ego has no concept of right or wrong; something is good simply if it achieves its end of satisfying without causing harm to itself.  And the proverbial cheesesteak causes no harm to the ego, in fact it produces a feeling of pleasure as the familiar, comfortable, ’rewarding’ flavors and aromas hit our senses.

In reality however, the cheesesteak provides zero pleasure for the body and, ultimately, the mind and spirit.  Those feelings of pleasure quickly recede as your system works to digest the chemical-laden, heavily processed American cheese and struggles to break down the often low-grade and fatty beef products (and maybe we even had the roll, so we have white carbs to eliminate, too. You get the idea).  We are actually punishing our bodies in this respect – especially when we jolt them into undue stress and over-action by introducing a veritable onslaught of fat, chemicals and carbs after treating them in such a loving manner all day!

In turn, as our bodies struggle just to complete the digestion of these unwanted ingredients, our minds go to work.  First, by consoling us and justifying the behavior and then when our ‘good senses’ kick in, we begin the negative self-talk associated with this type of reward system.  Soon after the high of the ego dissipates, the lows of reality sink in and we realize that we have let ourselves down and we have succumbed to our ego yet again.  And lastly, our spirit absorbs all of this negativity, adding in feelings of shame, unworthiness and discontent.

So what exactly are we doing?  We are rewarding positive behavior with negative actions.  Similar in concept to walking in circles or taking two steps forward and one step back.

What can we do to break this cycle?

Breaking old patterns and creating new habits is arguably the hardest thing we try to do.  We have all tried, many times in vain, to overcome poor behavior.  From the smoker that is finally successful only after several attempts at quitting and exhausting all of her options to the addict that never fully recovers, trying to change ourselves, our thoughts and our emotions is not an easy feat.  We need to remember that we are only human, we will make mistakes, we will give in under pressure and in the end, all that matters is that we are happy with the outcome.

Let’s first be gentle with ourselves. Taking small steps toward big goals is a tried and true method of success.  Set small, achievable goals on a daily, weekly and monthly basis and watch how quickly they add up!  We must be careful, however, to not become complacent in our goal setting.  We can really thrive when we challenge ourselves just a little more each day and it is such a great feeling when we find the balance between challenge and punishment.  Click here for more insight on treating yourself and others gently.

Meditation.  If we aren’t already doing it, we should be.  Taking even just 10 minutes out of each day to quiet the mind has a truly profound effect on our lives.  Among a host of other benefits, meditation (simply sitting quietly) is proven to increase productivity, improve self-control, increase social connections, decrease stress and promote happiness and overall well-being.  The best thing about it?  It’s absolutely free.  And it really is easy once you understand a few things:  you don’t need to empty your mind, you don’t need to sit any certain way, you don’t need special clothing or props.  What you need is a desire to improve yourself and to accept the challenge to change.  There’s plenty of wonderful articles available on the best ways to meditate, here’s one to get you started:  Benefits of Meditation. 

Movement.  As long as we are assigning new terms to our old behaviors, let’s include exercise.  I think part of the huge success of fitness tracking devices like FitBit and Apple’s Health Kit, is how it changes the concept of exercise into movement and tallies your daily efforts into a cumulative result.  Looking at our movement throughout the day can be a great motivator and can also provide a much needed boost to our confidence levels.   Simply staying on the move during the day and setting gentle reminders for ourselves to stand and stretch reaps big health benefits.  We won’t see rapid weight loss by just adding 500 steps to our day, but we will feel happier and more confident as we build our new habits.

Moderation.  This is a tough issue for me, particularly when all of the ‘old normals’ are gone.  I never was able to exercise moderation in my youth, specifically in the area of drugs and alcohol.  The ‘old normal’ was to drink in excess, party all night and completely forget to eat, forget having the energy to exercise.  When I quit these negative behaviors, food easily took the place of those mind-altering substances and I quickly gained weight.  Even when I started down the path to a healthy body, mind and spirit, I jumped in head first, driving my own self crazy with new diets, new appliances, new books, new supplements, etc.  I’m finally coming around to the realization that I need to slow down.  It took a long time to get where I am and it will take a long time to get where I want to be.  Looking above at our promise to be gentle with ourselves, moderation is closely tied to this, both physically and emotionally.  Practice makes perfect, so keep practicing!

Momentum.  We all hear it – we all say it:  Keep up the good work!  Well, let’s start to practice it!  The baby steps we are discussing, when combined, should provide us with a way to lose weight and feel great, naturally.  There won’t be any rapid weight loss, as we’ve already discussed, but there will be rapid changes in our minds and bodies when we put this all together.  We’ll be happier in nature, we’ll have more energy, we’ll smile more and we’ll find ourselves, in time, wanting to feel this way every single day!  Creating and maintaining momentum is the key to achieving success.  So, keep up the good self-talk, the positive thinking and treating ourselves like the queens (or kings) that we are and we will reap the benefits instantly. 

Accountability.  You are what you eat.  Period.  Don’t believe it?  Complete a 30-day whole food challenge or a 5-day juice detox and see how fabulous you feel!  And then when you ‘reward’ yourself with that great big cheesesteak or a huge bowl of ice cream, you will better understand the concept of ‘you are what you eat’.  When your heads pounding, your hearts racing, you can’t concentrate and you’re glued to the toilet seat – it’s a wake up call for sure.  Learning how to be accountable for our diets can be a hard lesson, but it is perhaps the most valuable lesson of them all. 

We don’t have to eat organically or go entirely vegan to be healthy.  We simply need to take an honest look at what we are putting into our bodies, our temples.  Start small and gain momentum.  Before we know it, we’re feeling better and healthier than we ever have before!  A great place to start is to commit to introducing more fresh veggies, fruits and water into our diet.  Try replacing the carb portion of dinner with an extra veggie.  Work your way up to 100% whole grains and eliminate processed sugars.  Research the chemicals you’re eating regularly and switch to real sugar or stevia instead carcinogenic-laden sweeteners like Splenda and Equal. And be grateful that we have the bodies we do – bodies that run and play with our kids, bodies that enable us to work and get ahead, bodies that receive love and affection, bodies that carry us every day of our lives.  Don’t they deserve better rewards?

Finally, let’s rethink this reward thing.

If our bodies could talk, what is it they would ask for in return for their unconditional service?  A nap, perhaps?  A nice stretch or a little low key yoga?  A massage?  A hug?  Curling up with a good book?  Spending time relaxing with friends?  Dancing?  A leisurely walk with the dog?  These are the things we deserve!

We can go on and on finding much better rewards than a fattening, artery clogging cheesesteak;  items and actions that truly reward our bodies for being there for us and providing us the ability to do and feel so very much.  So, next time you think you want a cheesesteak, hold yourself accountable. Pause and think about the true reason you ‘want’ it.  Get up and walk it out!  Take time to process the emotions or situation behind the craving.  Let’s work to understand the real rewards our bodies need to keep us here, keep us happy and keep us healthy.  It’s hard work but it will surely pay off in the end.

• Do you meditate?  What are the benefits you feel from it?
• How do you plan to become more accountable?
• What types of healthy rewards do you already incorporate in your lifestyle?
• What are some baby steps you can take to build momentum?

Marsalaganoff (mahr-sah-luh-guh-nawf)

Superbly rich, incredibly satisfying, grain-free, low carb love at first bite.

I asked my husband to describe the flavors in this dish and after some discussion, we mutually agreed that it was a perfect hybrid between marsala and stroganoff.  And that it definitely deserved a blog post.

Those that are familiar with my cooking style should recall that I love taking old standbys and fixing them up to meet todays healthier standards.  However, I also do not love to measure or fuss about things much. 

That said, it should be known that I measured two ingredients today. I know, I know… After a conversation with my dad, I did some thinking about saturated fats, namely the dairy fats I’ve grown very fond of using in my paleo/GF cooking style.  Now, let it be known that this does have a bit of dairy fat in it, but not nearly as much as I would’ve habitually thrown in before that phone call with Dad!

I chose to leave a type of meat out of the title because you can really make it with any thing or you can go vegetarian and just use portobello mushrooms.  If going vegetarian, I can’t guarantee that you’ll have the same, incredibly rich flavors I did – unless, of course, you know what you’re doing in a vegetarian kitchen, which I do not.  I used two thick, center cut, boneless pork chops which admittedly could’ve been cooked a bit less, so I’ll remember that for next time and now I’ve warned you, too.

Must Have Ingredients for two servings:  two thick cut pork chops (or other meat), 8-12 ounces of baby portobello mushrooms -or- three large ones will do, grass-fed butter and heavy cream, sour cream, splash of dry white wine, herbs and spices.

Start by searing your meat in a nice size saute pan.  Don’t overcrowd your chops, you want plenty of room for the flavors to circulate and to cook down your shrooms later.  Put about 1-2 tbsp of avocado or olive oil in the pan on medium heat.  Get it all warmed up and drop in your chops – lightly salt them, if desired.  Let them cook for about 90 seconds on each side, adding some pepper as they sizzle.  Turn back the heat to medium-low (or lower – you don’t want them to burn) and cover.  They will gently steam as they are cooking and release all kinds of wonderful juices!

Slice up your mushrooms while the chops are cooking (or start here if your going vegetarian).  Let the chops go about 5-6 minutes per side, then add your shrooms and season.  I used two small splashes of pinot grigio, 3-4 pinches of freeze-dried dill, a teeny dash of nutmeg (my secret weapon*), onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste.  I also tossed in about 1-2 teaspoons of freeze-dried chopped onion for good measure.  Cover and let simmer for roughly 10 minutes. 

Once the mushrooms are soft and have released their juices, push the chops to the side of the pan and add ONE TBSP of heavy cream and ONE TBSP of sour cream.  Mix together well and let simmer down uncovered.  Let this reduce for at least 10 minutes (I pushed my pan slightly off center so that the chops weren’t over direct heat any longer).  This is a great time to cook your side veggies.  Asparagus paired nicely with this and, keeping with the theme of less dairy fat, I tossed them in coconut oil with a bit of salt – simply delicious!

When the sauce has thickened up (be patient, my friend!), toss those chops on plates, top them with shrooms and sauce and indulge in a little slice of heaven – or Marsalaganoff, as I like to call it. 

Enjoy!

*I’ve cautioned before about nutmeg.  It’s an interesting spice to play around with but absolutely start small.  It’s very overpowering and it can not be removed.  I stress!!!  A teeny, tiny dash to begin and only build with subsequent teeny, tiny dashes.  I’ve ruined entire meals, but I’ve also created some incredible depth of flavor with this ‘secret weapon’.

Garlic Shrimp Halfredo

Must have on hand: heavy cream, shaker cheese*, butter – any combo of meat and/or veggies will work.

This week I bought a Fitbit Flex and I am enjoying the challenge it is posing to keep me active and I am liking the fact that I’ve exercised for three straight days now!  Yes, THREE WHOLE DAYS!  That’s a lot for me and the attempt at tackling a long-time goal feels great.  As for life post-Whole 30?  Well, I’m staying on a paleo diet, with the exception of limited dairy, such as organic, grass-fed heavy cream in my singular cup of coffee each day and an ounce or so of raw cheddar cheese here and there.

I’m trying to adopt the 80/20 lifestyle (sticking to paleo 80% of the time) so I’ve also allowed myself a bit of gluten-free pasta this week and some good, old-fashioned ‘shaker cheese’, too.  I’m not sure how bad that stuff is for me, but I sure like it and it can really add such flavor to almost any dish!  So, after a grueling pilates/yoga hybrid workout yesterday, I defrosted a handful of large shrimp and got to work, creatively, in the kitchen.

My husband has been away all week and I typically use times like these to skimp on dinners, using the time I save from slaving over the stove for much more satisfying tasks, like catching up on laundry, dusting and cat hair removal.  Last night was my final evening of solo dining and I felt like I deserved a treat after the past 3 days of healthy living and as a reward for all the housework I completed.

I looked in the fridge and pulled out a red pepper,  a zucchini, a carrot and some gluten-free penne leftover from mid-week and within 20 minutes I was feasting on an incredibly tasty and incredibly easy meal.  And I nailed the shrimp!  I don’t always cook seafood well, but when I do it’s amazing!  I call this Halfredo for two reasons:  it’s only a ‘half’ portion in my house due to the solo dining and its not quite as heavily laden in cream and butter as I would make a typical Alfredo sauce.  It is not, I repeat, it is not a low calorie recipe.  However, utilizing grass-fed fats and only a small amount of pasta, it was a generally healthy meal.

Here’s the details:  **Boil some water and get your pasta cooking while you prepare the rest of the meal**  I removed the shell and tails of my large shrimp, rinsed and set them aside.  I heated about a tablespoon of butter in a heavy skillet over medium heat.  I added half a chopped red pepper, half a julienned zucchini and a coarsely shredded carrot to the hot pan.  Saute these just for 2-3 minutes, constantly moving them around and then push them up against the sides of the pan, in circular fashion, creating a central clearing for your shrimp.  Place the shrimp in the clearing you made, in an even layer.  Season the shrimp with salt and pepper and allow everything to simmer for about 4-5 minutes.  Once the shrimp begin to show their wonderful pinkiness coming through, flip them over and cook another 2-3 minutes.  Cooking time will vary depending on the size of your shrimp, but be extra careful not to overcook them!

Once the shrimp are a nice shade of pink, add anywhere from one-half to two teaspoons of minced garlic – I like garlic so I used about two teaspoons.  Now add just a bit more butter – about 1/2 tbsp – and mix everything around really well.  Now, get out that heavy cream and shaker cheese (fresh grated parm could certainly be used but I don’t think it would be as creamy since we aren’t preparing a roux), pour about 2-3 tbsp of cream into the pan and shake the cheese liberally over the top;  about 2-3 tbsp of cheese, too.  If I had any white wine on hand, you’d better believe I would have added a generous splash here!

Now, add in your drained, hot pasta (I suggest only about a half-cup cooked), quickly give a good stir to everything, crack lots of fresh, black pepper over top of it all and savor the creamy, comforting goodness you just created!

Enjoy!

*shaker cheese – you know the stuff… parmesan cheese, mechanically grated to an almost powdery fine consistency with the ability to add instant flavor and depth to any recipe.

Chicken In Da Van

Must have on hand: chicken, canned coconut milk, fresh mayo, curry powder, fresh lemon juice
I was introduced to this rich, creamy, ultimate comfort food recipe when I was in elementary school and it has stayed with me for life. My dads then girlfriend grew up with 23 siblings and her mother would make a huge dish of this secret recipe to accommodate them all. It’s a relatively cheap version of Chicken Divan, unlike anything I’ve ever tasted or have found a recipe for.

I still recall writing down the recipe as recited to me from memory by the woman whose life was unfathomable to me. Twenty three siblings? One brother was enough for me. If I looked hard enough I could probably produce that tattered and stained piece of paper, which accompanied me in many a kitchen throughout my 20’s and into my early 30’s. One of those kitchens was shared with an ex-boyfriend who was very fond of his cargo van. He was a ‘van’ kinda guy and, as you might imagine, he was quite the character, too. I made this dish for him and because of his cargo-carrying fetish, he dubbed it Chicken In Da Van and so it remains to this very day.

The original version calls for cream of chicken soup and Hellman’s mayonnaise. Two things I adore but my heart does not. Neither does my gluten-hating body. I’ve been playing with several versions of this since going gluten-free a couple years ago and I’ve just not been successful. I just couldn’t recreate that wonderfully smooth, creamy texture and incredibly rich flavor using any of the GF substitutes I could think of. Until now…

I recently discovered coconut milk and I’m a huge fan! As I write, I am currently finishing day 18 of the Whole30 Challenge and coconut milk has been an absolute godsend in my kitchen. I was searching for some inspiration tonight and my mind wandered to Thai and to India and to curry and then to HEAVEN! I had just made some fresh mayo using this excellent recipe and an idea began to form. The end result was a delectably rich and creamy sauce which we liberally poured over grilled chicken and steamed broccoli, making this new rendition of a classic casserole much faster, healthier and tastier than the original.

Original version: 2 cans cream of chicken soup, 1 c. Hellman’s, 1tbsp lemon juice, 1 tsp curry powder (or to taste), salt and pepper. Mix well and pour over cooked, cubed chicken and frozen broccoli spears. Bake covered at 375ish until bubbling, about 30-40 minutes. Bake uncovered for additional 10-15 mins to brown. Serve over rice or noodles.

A literal disaster for your heart and health, not to mention your thighs!

My new and improved version (improvised because I rarely ever measure things): start with about 2/3 c of unsweetened canned, full fat coconut milk and blend with roughly 1/4-1/3 c fresh mayo. Use more milk to thin as/if necessary. Add to this 1 to 2 teaspoons of curry powder, it all depends on your preference. I used about 1 and a half? I don’t know, I just kept shaking it and tasting it until it had a ‘POW! That’s curry!’ kinda flavor. Salt and pepper to taste. I tossed in some onion and garlic powder for good measure and some ground ginger, too (a couple shakes of each). If you tread lightly, you can shake a teensy bit of ground clove in for depth, but I implore you to heed my warning: a teensy bit! Like a quarter of a shake, a mere tap, really. A shake of paprika is nice, too. Smoked paprika would probably be excellent!

Whisk this all together and you should have a pretty delicious sauce in front of you, but you’re not done yet. Squeeze about half a lemon into it, start small and keep tasting until you get that ‘POW!’ kinda feeling again. Then transfer it to a heavy bottomed saucepan and very gently heat it, just to warm it up, before it starts to bubble. Meanwhile, your chicken should be grilling and your broccoli steaming. Remove the cooked chicken to your plate and add about 2 tbsp of the warm sauce to the chicken pan. Deglaze the pan with the sauce and add that back into the pot, stir well and pour liberally over the chicken and broccoli.

Enjoy!